Why am I so insecure? I hear this question on a daily basis from teens, adults and the elderly. 

Many people in the world are faced with insecure feelings and these have made them feel less of themselves and accept what they aren’t supposed to accept. 

Insecure feeling has become a big threat to humanity and seen in almost every area of life—coupled with social media, the feeling of insecurity has skyrocketed.

Perhaps you’re asking, why am I so insecure? Sit back and keep reading. 

In this guide, I’ll share with you everything you need to know about insecure feelings. 

What is Insecure Feeling?

Insecurity is a state of being vulnerable or being open to danger. 

In this context, we will be seeing insecurity as a feeling of uncertainty or anxiety about oneself. 

It could also be seen as a lack of confidence.

But, no matter how big or small, wealthy or poor a person might be, everyone is vulnerable to insecure feelings and feels insecure about something. 

Hence, why am I so insecure? Is a common problem faced by all. This could be about your height, body, job, family, spouse etc.

So, what are you insecure about?

Are You Insecure?

To know if you’re insecure, answer the following questions sincerely:

• If you have the constant need to keep checking yourself in the mirror, then yes, you’re insecure! 

• If you constantly worry about what others will think about you, yes, you’re insecure. 

• If you have the sudden urge to run or disappear when among certain people, you’re insecure.

• If you worry about your past constantly or find it hard to heal from past hurt, then yes you’re insecure.

• If you continuously worry about your body, you’ll have insecure feelings. 

What Are the Causes of Insecure Feelings?

The causes of insecurity are numerous. Including:

Traumatic Experience 

Trauma could be seen as an event that causes distress. It could be an emotional problem that leads to psychological issues. 

A person who got raped, would most likely experience depression and entertain negative thoughts like suicide.

In addition, such a person can begin to wonder; why am I so insecure? because they feel and think less of themselves due to what happened. 

Childhood Experience

The question “why am I so insecure?” stems from unpleasant childhood experiences such as childhood emotional abuse.

A child who grew up in a family where he/she was constantly shut down will have confidence issues wherever they go—they won’t air their views for fear of being shut down.

Gradually, an insecure feeling begins to creep in and make them think less of themselves.  

Unexpected Failure Leads to Insecure Feeling 

Failure could make a person feel less of his/herself and begin to ask questions like what’s wrong with me? Or why am I so insecure?

These types of individuals will feel worthless because they failed especially when their peers made it through. 

A person who failed at a promotional exam while his colleagues passed, will most likely feel insecure.

Negative Words

Those who have gone through phases where people have told them they aren’t good enough, move around with insecure feelings.

Why?

Their senses have been clouded by negative words and thoughts.

Loneliness and Rejection

When a person begins to feel left out or abandoned, they start feeling like something is wrong with them and that is why they are not carried along. 

This could lead to low self-esteem, a major effect of insecure feeling.

Also, rejection breeds depression leading to insecurity and sometimes bad actions or decisions.

Fear

Have you ever been scared of not being good enough or failing again? 

This type of fear ignites self-doubt and encourages one to look down on oneself and think negatively.

Perfectionism

The need to be perfect is not something one can achieve easily. 

As humans, we aren’t above mistakes and are bound to make mistakes. 

However, we need to come to terms with this fact, only then can we be happy and thrive towards being the better version of ourselves.

Social Media 

I hear the question why am I so insecure often from those who are glued to social media updates.

This is one of the main reasons so many people in this present world have insecure feelings. 

Pressuring yourself to be like celebrities and social influencers is one of the many ways to fall into the webs of insecurity. 

Interestingly, they too are not perfect—people need to learn that and stop allowing what they see on social media to influence their self-worth. 

You’re unique and different. Stop trying to be like someone else—be yourself!

Negative Criticism

Criticism can be negative and positive. 

Many people are prone to receiving negative criticism from those around them. This could come from parents, siblings, friends, or even spouses. 

However they come, if they’re not constructive criticism, they will result in an insecure feeling. 

Types of Insecure Feelings

Insecurity could come from a lot of sources—people are different, so are the things that make them insecure. 

Physical Insecurity—Body Shaming

Today, body shaming has become a very popular thing in the world. 

People are being talked down for how they look, especially the female gender—It could range from size, looks to height.

This is why we see a lot of reconstructive surgeries, cases where people prefer to die under the surgical knife rather than being body shamed.

However, this won’t solve the inner emptiness of insecurity, rather create more hunger for more adjustments.

Financial Insecurity—the Insatiable Taste for Money

Why am I so insecure is a question common among people caught in the rat race of chasing money instead of attracting money.

According to the Bible, the love of money is the root of all evil!

To a large extent that’s true as people could go the extra mile to get money irrespective of the means. 

Recently, money has been used to define a person’s worth. 

Hence, many Individuals would go depressed when they can’t have money to their satisfaction resulting in an insecure feeling.

Social Insecurity—Fashion Trend

Perhaps you’re wondering why am I so insecure?

I’ll tell you;

You’re obsessed with getting the latest fashion just to feel among.

Many feel the need to have the latest outfits forgetting that fashion trends come and go within short periods.

In essence, these things have a temporary life span and shouldn’t influence how you think and feel about yourself. 

8 Ways to Overcome Insecure Feelings

As earlier stated in this guide, everyone is insecure about something. 

However, never accept it as normal. Instead, practice the below ways to overcome insecure feelings:

1. Cut off People Who Make Fun of Your Faults

Anyone who knows what makes you feel insecure and keeps teasing you about it doesn’t deserve to be in your life. 

Please, do yourself good and remove them or place them where they can’t reach you. 

In contrast, associate with those who know about your faults and desire to see you overcome them. 

2. Learn to Speak Positively About Yourself

It’s a good thing to always affirm good words about yourself such as positive energy quotes and motivational quotes for success. 

No matter what people say about you, you have the key to your life—so decide to affirm positivity about your life. 

Therefore, affirm only positive things to yourself even when the situation around isn’t going as you have planned it. 

When you constantly affirm positive words, you won’t have to keep asking why am I so insecure? It naturally solves insecure feelings.

Interestingly, words are powerful and shape how we view ourselves.

I recommend you read my guide on how to transform your life with positive thoughts.

3. Be Patient with Yourself 

The repeated thought of why am I so insecure is common amongst impatient individuals.

Don’t push yourself too hard to achieve a 100 years goal in a day—be patient with yourself. 

A lot of people make the mistake of trying to be superheroes, forgetting we’re still humans with a body and have to take life step-by-step. 

By adopting this approach to life you will see everything will fall in place at the right time.

4. Keep Supportive People Around 

The type of people we have around us determines how we feel about ourselves. 

It’s important to checkmate the kind of people you mingle with and know those who support you and those who don’t. 

Therefore, choose your friends wisely—choose friends that counter thought of why am I so insecure from your mind. 

5. Do What Makes You Happy 

You must engage more in the things that make you happy and revive your mood. 

Feel free to be who you’re. Don’t pretend to love something when deep down you feel bad about that thing.

Whatever makes you happy is what you should do more often. 

However, don’t do it because people are doing it, do it because you love it!

6. Embrace Self-love

It’s about time you begin to love yourself for who you’re irrespective of your flaws and weaknesses. 

Sincerely, if you don’t learn to love yourself, it will be difficult for you to love others or feel loved in return. 

Self-love is one way to tackle insecure feelings as love is a healing balm. 

I recommend you embrace my guide on how to practice self-love daily.

7. Celebrate Yourself 

People wonder “why am I so insecure”? and forget to see that they’ve drowned themselves in their weaknesses.

Hence, they forget their awesome traits and strengths. 

Everyone has their area of strength, so, instead of focusing more on your weaknesses, discover and build your strength—take out time to celebrate those amazing traits of you today.

8. Consult an Expert When Needed

Visiting a mental health expert isn’t a bad idea and goes a long way in solving the problem of insecure feelings. 

They know better and with years of experience, can be of help. 

Therefore, if you feel you can’t go through this phase of your life alone, don’t hesitate to visit an expert.

Final Thoughts on Why Am I so Insecure

Insecure feelings have eaten deep into the lives of many people. 

However, now is the time to change that mindset and be better. 

So, instead of complaining, why am I so insecure? Choose to work on yourself.

But, never be too harsh or in a rush to see results instantly. Take your time, laugh, live, be happy and everything will work out with time. 

In addition, love yourself—you’re strong, awesome and unique!

Perhaps, you’ve experienced insecure feelings before? How did you overcome it?

Do share in the comments.

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